One hell of a day

Today started and ended a bit like I imagine Hell would be. These are just random thoughts and stories that have been happening to me all day...

This morning. First day at El Inca, the women's prison here. After being stamped and thoroughly violated (I'm actually kinda embarassed to say) while being padded down, me and the other team members enterted the facility... I was told later that they were especially invasive today.

Thought: wonder what would have happend had a slapped the female fully armed prison gard's hand away?

Ok walk with me inside. It was kinda surreal, it looked like a rundown indoor apartment complex. There were things you'd never see in a US prison. Not that I've seen many myself but still. There was laundry hanging outside to dry and the glass on most of the windows were broken. The prisoners walk around freely for the most part.

Thoughts: Should I have put was instead of were for the glass? Or is it plural? Or is windows the subject. You'd think I'd be better at this after teaching.

Today was para visitas (for visiting? I don't know it sounds wierd). We when into the chapel. I helped lead worship, it went a little less than smooth but I think we were forgiven. Some of the ladies seem really nice and happy to have us there. Some came up and gave us besos. Lots of smiles. I wasn't sure who spoke English and who spoke Spanish, so I mostly just smiled really big! And then there were others, really drawn in. Who knows what they've gone through/going through.

Thought: they really need to come up with better words for wierd and awkward in Spanish. Also apparently sassy can't be translated (I found that out today). But I don't care so much about that one, mostly because I avoid using it in any language.

Then we split up into groups for the the English and Spanish speakers. There are a lot of forieners that get caught trafficking drugs and what not and put there for like a min of like 2 years, some know they are trafficking and some don't. They are then put into this prison and given only a space, no bed, blankets - nothing. They have to buy the rest. They are given $1 for food each day. So these women have to "work." Which usually consists of, you guessed it, prostitution. I was kinda shocked to find out about the lesbianism/prostitution that goes on. I mean I just didn't realized that it'd be so much like a men's prison would be.

So once in the groups we started the Bible study. This one big Nigerian woman was saying her "amens" and such with such gusto that she was almost yelling everything back that the leader was saying!!! The woman leading had to shout the whole time to be heard over her. I was trying so hard to not laugh. I didn't know if she had a mental problem, she seemed simi-normal before that. Then the woman to her right told her to shut up at one point, which was to no avail. And finally when she read one verse about Jesus' salvation (or something like the hope we have in Chirst) she started shouting and shimmying her shoulders !!! and the lady next to her, who had either been ignoring her or irritated by her, lost it and started laughing. Which of course made me lose it, but being behind them I was able to hide.

Thought: Fred Astare was really a homely guy, great dancer but feo.

I didn't get to really talk to them to much but I'm excited to go back now that I know who to say what to. I hope that the gards take it easy on the searching though... que incomodo.

Though: has there ever been a record of a cat committing suicide? If not then I guess I should stop hoping for that...

Had some Mexican food for lunch, well sorta.

Thought: I miss Mexican food the most from home. And In 'n Out. I've already mapped out places I will eat at a.s.a.p. once back home first stop: Double double animal style, ketchup and mustard instead with extra veggies.

Spanish class. Had a different teacher today. Every time I don't have my normal one I feel like a learn more, does that mean I do better when I don't know someone or is my normal teacher just not right for me?

Then Pan de Vida. I hear "Shelli are you going to do anything spicific right now?" (in Spanish) I stupidly answer "No." (in Spanish, maybe if I'd have answered in English I would have saved myself) Then I became the nanny for like 20 ill behaved childern and one continously crying baby. Once told this I accidentally said "I hate kids." Response: really? To which I replied "after this year I do." 2 longest hours of my day. But I got out alive and with only a little bit of snot and pee on me.

Thoughts: I am amazed at this one kid, he kept eatting stuff. And I told him to give the plastic in his mouth to me, he wouldn't. So we had a power struggle for a few minutes before he broke it in half and as a pulled it from his mouth I wondered at how it didn't break his teeth in half!!! His must only have been 6 but already most of his front teeth were rotting out.

I was working in the kitchen with this snotty teenager. He totally picked up food with his fingers and tried and then went back to working! I told him that he should probably wash his hands, I was ignored. How freakin' dare he?! So I tapped on his arm and said "no really you really should wash up before you serve" and he just said yeah and kept dishing up food! I am so mad, just because the people were are serving are poor and probably don't have the same hygene standards does not mean we should just not care about the quality of our service to them! If anything we should be treating them better because no one ever does!

Thought: Geez, I really should never have kids.

I tired walking home at dusk with some girls who were going the same way, key word: Tried. They being younger and in much better shape made it effortlessly up the hill... and well much to my shame, and I was panting by the top of the hill. Could barely remember how to say good bye in English. But once I got home I was free to rest and watch a musical, or so I thought. As I litterally had to unlock our 7 different locks to get in, I seriously thought about just sitting out side the door. Ok I was in, finally. Roommate 1 comes home, status: fair. Roommate 2 comes home, status: poor (in more ways than one). Turns out as she was walking home her and her friend got robbed!!! They took keys, cell phones, book bags (they were coming from Seminary) and his computer! I've heard of this but never seen it until today... she was laughing, like histerically. Then the crying came later. After I sang enough ridiculous songs to lighten the mood we were chatting about why people do stuff like. And the sad reality is all some people have is themselves to depend on, no future hope of heaven so they need to make here as "good" as possible... decieved by greed or necessity. And when you have no hope of heaven maybe it's like hell has already begun?

Thoughts: I've gained 20 stinkin' pounds this year! How did that happen? Just felt the need to share that. Although I'm not really happy about it, I must be sorta proud of it... because I tell pretty much everyone. And I'm not fishing for compliments. Just sayin' ya know?
I don't know how you read this but I had a pretty freakin' awesome day! Not everyone around me did though. Also hope that the theives don't know where we live. I would almost think just getting into the Ecuadorian Fort Knox would deter them from braking in, even with keys... but not everyone is as lazy as me. Also I'm thinking about spell checking this, later.

Shell!

So a couple of weeks ago (back in August) I was able to go to Shell, near the jungle. It was awesome because I got to see Nate Saint's house which was super cool for me. If you remember I was in At Any Cost and I got to represent him in the presentation. Also, I found out that my grandfather went to school with him years before he became a missionary to Ecuador. One of the best parts was at night when all the fireflies where out! It was so amazing. I wonder how God comes up with this stuff?

I've just been so convicted lately. But not quite sure what to do about it or how God wants me to change. I just feel extremely selfish. Kinda ironic, considering that I'm down here to serve. But it's true. I've spent most of the time thinking about how to be more comfortable or when it's not an option just thinking about when I was or will be again. I just don't know if I'm making the kind of connections I should be. Maybe I'm expecting too much out of myself. I needed to sleep early last night but couldn't because of all this. Which put me in a bad place for this morning. I get up to go to work. I've been taking taxis to the south to work at Remanso because taking the bus there is too confusing and kinda dangerous, if I miss it. But this taxista didn't know where I needed to go, I was under the impression that he knew the general area and I even told him what highway to use. No good. He kept asking me and I wasn't sure which way it was to get to that highway and then other people and making lots of U turns... I knew I was in trouble. By this time I missed my first class and was going to miss the second. I'm in tears. I really had no idea what to ask for. I was afraid to ask him to let me out, because I didn't know the area. So finally after the meter was past the point it would have been to get there and over an hour later he just tells me sorry and says I should find another taxi, I get out and don't pay him. And there I am on the street coner (God only knows where) in Quito crying my eyes out. Awesome. I call the teacher I'm supposed to help and tell her I'm lost and going home. She was going to have someone pick me up but I didn't know where I was and I think she thought I was closer to the school than I was (I was still about 40 mins away). I couldn't figure out how to say "I can't stop crying" in Spanish so I just said I can't come, I'm going home, instead. In the words of Eliza Doolittle "I cannn't, I' got an 'eadache."
So I was supposed to post this in September but never got around to it. Two days after this we had the police coup which shut down the airport and all bus transportations. It was crazy. I just stayed in doors for two days and didn't really go out any more than was needed. It was honestly a nice break from working but I was a little worried about my friends who were coming in the next week to visit me. But by the next day the president was un-kidnapped and the country was pretty much back to normal, and my buddies made it here and back safely (well Marlo at least as far as Houston). But the stangest thing about all of this for me is: why is coup spelled with a P? I mean come on... really? I don't care if it comes from French or whatever just help a sista out.

Punch Line

What has happend the last few days that make me love and hate this place:

Went to my 8 o'clock class today, and arrived early. Everyone else showed up at 8:45 or 8:50. I needed to leave at 9 sharp to head to my next ministry sight (PDV). I waited for the pastor because he said he was going partly there, I was so worried he wouldn't leave on time and then I'd be in trouble. But he did. But then he stopped to talk to the police. I almost had a heart attack. Lucky for me it was only a few minutes... there have been times where it's been 30 minutes of "I'm leaving now." I then took and bus to a taxi to Pan de Vida. Made it and early (ok this part isn't so normal)! So after setting up for the yard sale I was put in charge of keeping the people back, passing out food and praying for them. Well I'm willing to pray but it's really hard in Spanish. So I prayed in the language which is easiest for me at the moment, Spanglish! *Side note: that movie "Spanglish" is my movie for this year, I love it. Okay, back to the story, I was trying to pray for someone but messing up my Spanish horribly and there was a guy there who started helping me translate. Then I came over to pray with him... turns out he speaks really good English and lived in the US for a few years but got deported. He worked with a medical mission’s organization but they are no longer in Ecuador and so he is out of work. He asked for prayer for that and for his sister who had just lost a baby. He also asked if he could help volunteer! I was just blown away. I mean if I was out of a job, honestly I don't know if I'd be looking to volunteer, would you?! I mean of course I'm sure he's hoping to build contacts while in search for work, but still! He had such a servant’s heart and he was thanking me for all I was doing. It was really humbling. And as I continued on praying (kinda like a crippled in the spiritual and lingual side of things) I just wondered "who the heck am I to pray for these people?" Me of all people stumbling over my words, hoping the God of the entire universe will hear me. I hope God at least got a good smile out of it!!! But truly I felt so blessed being able to pray for people, that Jesus would use me of all people there. Well after I left there I waited 45 minutes to be picked up (when I was supposed to wait 5). Then got to class and had to wait while they gave a talk about something. So my class started when it should have ended. And there went all my plans for the day because by that time I just had to get back before it got dark. Well I took myself back, and I didn't no the short way so I ended up taking me two hours to get back to the house (I'm soo glad I'm moving on the 8th). The first hour the bus smelled like crap, literally. So nasty. The only saving grace was the wind when the bus moved, until the bus attendant decided to torture me and close it.

One thing that totally shames me is that the people here are so considerate of others in a totally different way than I am. Like it maybe be small but when they get a cookie they bring one for everyone or they'll share. It really is a good lesson for me to think of others... I always feel like a big jerk whenever they offer me something I didn't even think of them! But I'm learning. :)

I was riding home yesterday and this lady rudely told me to move my big bag, right where other people were standing so she could sit (there were no overhead compartments for me to store the bag in). Have they never heard of the word please here??? Then as she climbed over me she hit me in the face with her stupid bad, which I slapped away. I wanted to punch her in the face (side note: I've been using that phrase "I want to punch you in the face" so much lately that I unknowingly though some of my Ecuadorian friends, they think it's funny, I think I have anger issues). So I rolled my eyes as she pretty much sat on me (another side note: I appreciate skinny people here, they can stay on their side of the seat, and the fat ones are all up in my grill! I literally have them sitting partly on my leg and their arms cover mine, when they could easily put it in front of them). Then with in 5 minutes she strikes up a conversation! Can she not tell that I'm seething in anger? So I try to calm down so I can "chat" with her. She asks me all of the usually questions and some really strange ones... I still have no idea what the heck she was saying. I kept telling her I didn't understand so of course she'd repeat the same word the same way, over and over again. I finally told her I don't know that word hoping she'd use another one I'd understand but nope... here the same one comes but slowly this time. Then I did it. I punched her in the face! Okay, maybe that's not true but it would have made for a really good story. So I struggled through awkwardly and thinking to myself "this is going to be a long 1 hour drive." And she almost made me miss my bus stop but repeating that same word for the 4th time during the ride. These are the type of situations that seem small but added up drive me insane. I'm sorry I'm easily annoyed. So much so that when I was a teenager I used the word annoyed so often, my mother made me come up with synonyms (guess I'm not the only one to get annoyed quickly). I've come up with quite a few over the years: irritated, perturbed, frustrated, irked, agitated, you are driving me crazy, I'm going crazy, you make me want to punch myself in the face (see side note above), just to name a few off the top of my head with out looking any up.

I've been thinking about things I miss. Driving. It's been 9 months, I miss it. Never thought I'd say that. but after the last few bus stories I'm sure you understand why. Cottage cheese. Baths. Remembering what it was like to have a night go by and not hear 100 dogs barking. My family. Freedom. Heaters. Non-barred windows. Sleep in the mornings. Warm water. Friends. At the moment, sleep....

Missonaries Cuss

That will be the name of my future book and the sequel will be called Missionaries Cuss, Too. Actually I haven't had too much of a problem with that lately but I've been thinking about that concept for months. I'm not perfect. Sorry to let some of you down... Dad. Just kidding. But seriously, I really do think we tend to put expectations and sometimes unrealistic ones on missionaries or persons of the cloth. I feel so clever using that one... wait is that only for catholics? Any ways, you know what I mean. I resently had a situation come up that affirmed that for me. Other "chirstians" had problems with me, and the funny thing was they were just as responsible for the lack of communication as I was. But I am the missionary so I'm naturally the one at fault. And also one of the wonderful cultural differences here is blame shifting, they're great at it. They didn't knock over the cup, it fell on it's own... se cayo. (I'm sighting Mike for that one, so he doesn't get mad that I stole his words, not that I've ever seen Mike mad). RRRRRRRIGHT.
This all brought me to the conclution of "how much is too much and/or when is enough enough?" and I thought to my self "when I have to ask that quesiton, that's when it's enough!" (Sorry this maybe be a little vague if you aren't getting my prayer emails.) But then agian life is so complicated. No I'M so complicated and a big fat chicken.
Speaking of animals, I'm moving soon! Moving in with two really awesome girls and two very stupid cats. I know they are stupid because they are cats. I met one the other day, I hate it already. Oh and have you seen Meet the Parents? Well like in the movie one of the cats is potty trained to pee in the toilet downstairs but the other goes in the sink! How freaking gross. They must think it's cute or something, I'm never using that bathroom.
VBS went well last week and Pan de Vida. I really love coordinating. I'm kinda good at it too. I think having years of expirience bossing my siblings around must have helped.
Just did lice treatments today (see 2 blogs ago), but I'm pretty sure I was just taking off huge chucks of my scalp instead. I didn't see any piojos so maybe I just had bad dandruff?! How annoying.

Some wires, a lizard and a cockroach

For Kelsey's last week here we went to the beach. It was just her sister, Rebbecca, Kelsey, joined later by our frined Lukas and myself. Fearing for our lives, our "house dad" called his uncle to make sure we got good quality lodgings and were taken care of, as we were to arrive early in the morning. Well we made it safely and then picked up by the uncle, after calling a few times (I bet he was sleeping until we called). Then we got to the most wonderful hostel I've ever stayed in! It was amazing starting with the name "The alpha and omega" and only got better from there. The night lady, which was the day lady too, wouldn't come to the door so we rang for about 10 to 15 mins. Then she proceed to take us to the room which is hands down the dirtiest place I've ever stayed in and I'm comparing that to camping in a tent. It was a pretty muggy day even though it was only 5:30 a.m. and the room was with out air conditioning, luckily I spotted a fan. The fan probably hadn't worked in 4 years, and good thing it didn't because it had about that many years worth of dust and cob-webs on it! I tried it none less, against Kelsey and Rebecca warnings. So the first real night of sleep I was awoken by a loud "whisper" of "Kelsey, Kelsey!" and then a "I don't want to freak you out, but...". So I tore out my ear plugs and sat up! I asked what was going on and Rebecca was trying to inform us that there was a huge bug coming out of the wall. But upon further inspection it was just a bunch of wires. Why she was awake at 2 a.m. looking for bugs I'll never know. The next night was even more interesting. Before going to bed Rebecca spotted a huge gecko on the wall near her bed. We tried to convince her that'd be fine and it wouldn't crawl on her but she wouldn't budge. So I did the only that a person would do in this situation, I threw a lemon at it. Now why did I have a lemon you ask? Good question, you see earlier that night we had been dancing and after fighting off latin salsa kings from inappropriate dance moves, we moved to the sand to just dance by our selves. Thinking to my self "I really shouldn't dance in the sand, there's probably glass" I ignored my good judgment and proceeded to take off my shoes and dance. Well not one minuet later I found my prediction to have come true. Now bleeding from the toe and feeling like a heal, I limped to the bench to wash and inspect the wound. And of course the guys from the bar ran over to help brining me napkins and a few lemons, because why wouldn't I pour fresh lemon juice on my open cut!? Ok back to the hostel. Well it wasn't my best shot, but I was literally an inch from that lizard thingy and couldn't see why it wouldn't run like any normal lizard would! So I took my other lemon and this time pegged it right in the head! Haha! So it moved about 5 inches this time, in between the window panes. Well I guess she was ok with how much we'd been able to move it so we went to bed. Then I was awoken again by a "Kelsey, Kelsey," I then heard "can you come down here so I can kill it, I need moral support." followed by "No, but could you shut the window, so more of those don't get in? Thanks." rolling over I asked what was going on and there was Rebecca sitting up in her bed just have a staring contest with a huge cockroach! So I've heard stories about these things that they don't die very easily, so I found the heaviest thing I could an attempted to kill the darn thing. Well it ran and I screamed like a girl but in the in I was the victor. I am not going to lie I pretty much felt like a warrior after that night.
The other day I was supposed to teach English early in the morning. I was sick the night before with a cold but thought to myself "it's only for an hour, I'll tough it out and then be done." Why aren't things ever that simple? So I get to the meeting spot, I bit late to meet my companion but still on time for class. Well normally if you were in the US we'd just have left to the class on time, but being in Ecuador we had coffee for a half and hour. Okay, that's cool, just an hour and a half and I'll be home. Right? Wrong. So we get to the class 30 mins late, and no one is there! There was a prayer meeting the night before until 3 a.m. so then he wasn't even sure any one was coming. About 15 minuets later a few start to show up. Alright an hour and 45 minuets. Then they finally try to open the door (which is a roll top store front), and continue to try and do so for an hour!!! Then I just couldn't take it any more. I said look guys I'm sick and I really just don't want to wait here any more. So I'm going to wait a few more minuets and then go. I passed out all the assignments and just as I'm about to leave they pull out a huge saw and say "no, no just wait"... ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! Now maybe I'm not being culturally sensitive but WHAT THE HECK?!
So I need to buy pants. But it's expensive here and want to know something really depressing? I'm the biggest size they sell in the normal stores! It's not that I've gained that much weight, it's just that the sizes run way smaller 9 = 14 in women's. And the last pair of fat pants I bought doesn't even fit me! Geez.
I'm really loving my new job working in the north of Quito, I don't have to teach and it's so amazing! I'm not really looking forward to teaching but hopefully I'll be able to handle it a bit better this year. If there is a school. If you haven't gotten my prayer update email... you might want to get on that I explained more in detail about what's going on with the school. I'm not working at the girls home like I would have liked to but God knows what's going on and so I'm just going to wait it out. I'm still holding on to my dreams of some day working with girls coming out of sex trafficking and prostitution or just any kind of slavery, but am willing to work with the job that I've been given... even it isn't always fun or my ideal situation.

Is louse plural for lice?

Delousing yesterday. Yes you read me correctly. So the first time I noticed lice on a kid was yesterday, it was really bad. I was hugging her close for a bit because she was. As soon as I saw it my head started itching. I don't know if it's all IN my head or just all ON my head. (Funny because I'm pretty sure it's the same either way in Spanish).



A guy short changed my $0.05 (no 'cents' button?) on the bus. He kept arguing with me that it was the right amount, but I've ridden (?) this bus like a million times, he's soooo wrong. Okay, I know doesn't sound like a lot but that's one fifth of my next bus. Jerk.





So I'm starting to not be able to remember English words. They say that's a good stage in learning another language. Only problem is I usually don't know the Spanish counterpart. Uh...



I'm in a weird place right now. No, not Ecuador. I mean in an odd transition and I feel like maybe (or for sure) I bit off more than I can chew. Ministry stuff isn't working out the way I thought a few weeks ago and everything is up in the air. I want to explain but I honestly don't really know yet myself. More on that when I find out.



Got a unexpected trip to Columbia. Sorry mom they didn't have any coffee for sale or I would have bought you some. It was pretty cool. Probably one of the few times blonde Californian girls were smuggled over the border. Oddly enough we were searched a few times coming back into Ecuador, but never asked for papers.

I feel like a rollercoaster

One minute I'm up and the next I'm in a complete loop (or am just loopy). I'm probably like this back at home but I can hide it better.

This last week has been awesome, God's really answered prayers! So where to start? So I met this couple, with I'm pretty sure are the cutest kids in the world, who's been living in the downstairs apartment in the ER building and was chatting with them about their plans for Ecuador. They are helping their aunt and uncle at Casa Gabriel, a ministry here in Quito for street boys. They also want to start a girl’s home for girls rescued out of sex trafficking and similar situations. Right now the only one that exists is secular and it's only for a 3 month period. They have a vision to start one for these girls that is Christian based and that would educate and help them learn a legitimate trade. The girls currently there range in age from 12 to 18. I asked if I could join them in going on Sundays (the only day they are allowed to talk about God). It was perfect because that's the day I have free in the afternoons. Only now I have a hang up, I am no longer able to stay in the ER building which is closer to where this place is and by the time we'd be done I wouldn't be able to bus back to the house I live at. I know it's going to work out, I've been praying about helping in a ministry like this for about a year now. I’m just not sure how it’ll work out yet. I'm so excited to see what's going to become of this! Once I go visit I’ll be able to really tell you all about it.

I wanted to join this 20's Bible study on Tuesdays in the north but again have no way to get back to the house. So on Saturday I was at a party for Day of the Child (I swear they have days for EVERYTHING here) for children with disabilities with one of my friends. I happend to meet someone who goes to the same church and he offered to give me rides! Praise God! So when the group starts back up after summer break, I'll be able to go and get home safely.

Oh and the party for the kids was great. I was asked to be with the hardest kid there (of course, I always have to do things the hard way) but he was super cute. He was a BIG little guy and wasn't really aware of everything around him, social cues and what-not, couldn't really talk, but man could he dance!!! I had a blast with him! We almost won musical chairs but I didn't want to be to completive and squish the other kid, so we let them win.

It wouldn't be blog of mine with out a good bus story. Sorry but the only thing I can think of is that a guy was picking his nose right before taking the money yesterday. Sorry I know that story kinda blows. But please don't be snotty about it, ok? Next time I promise I'll pick a better one.

Still teaching. Still doing house visits. Still have to scream my head off, and yes I did take all the advice given to me, but I have the feeling that people in charge don't really give a crap. Not sure if that's about my class or just in general. Whatever. It's just something I'll have to endure through. House visits, as it turns out, aren't always with single mothers, but some of their husbands are out of the city or country. They are hard to do, it's really hard to sit and do almost nothing for 3 to 4 hours... believe it or not. I don't know how much longer I can do it... or not do it? LOL. Any ways, I was feeling really bad for myself today, and after calming the ocean pouring from my face I went into to teachers lounge to sit and wait for my companion for visits. This week is spiritual emphasis week and the teachers were in there talking and crying. Not sure what was said before I entered but listening to the prayers that followed, I figured I'm not the only one having a hard time. I mean how does one deal with kids whose parents aren't there or who's teeth are visibly rotting out of their heads?! How are those kids supposed to pay attention? I feel like some of the problems are so easily fixed, but where does it stop? There are so many problems that could be helped a lot with just so little. And some only God Himself could help. How much am I supposed to do? After all I can't help everyone... right?

Poverty sounds awful, but it looks even worse.